Thursday, December 22, 2011


The orchestrated mourning continues. Crowds of surprisingly Asian looking Gibraltarians have been filmed on Main Street weeping and grieving openly at the news that the Supreme Leader, Peter Caruana, had been swept from power at the recent general election.

Office workers were filmed wailing en masse and crowds gathered outside a house in Irish Town as the GSD executive announced an extended mourning period.

The Supreme Sister had posted the pictures on her Facebook page of the mass displays of sorrow but international observers said they could not verify their authenticity especially as rickshaws had never been seen before on the Rock.

One expert on this troubled nation said the Supreme Leader was “a man who concentrated colossal power in his hands.” He has led Gibraltar since 1996. There are reports that people were imprisoned for life for not wearing a badge bearing his likeness at all times but nobody could be found on Main Street to confirm this story.

The country is impoverished with known debts of 500 million pounds. Commentators say it is George Orwell’s 1984 brought to life with TVs and radios only receiving the State broadcaster with other media surviving on government funding. Despite all this the Supreme Leader told the people before his downfall that they lived in the “happiest nation on earth.”

A recent visitor to Gibraltar stated: “The country has a grandiose capital city with a number of enormous monuments.” It is believed he was referring to the new airport terminal which the new government is considering closing as there are few flights yet it forms a major drain on the economy. One seasoned observer believes one of the enormous monuments was a giant man called Joe Holliday who had ambitions to be a Beloved Leader himself but who hurriedly left government riding the peoples’ bike.

After 16 years in power, whilst the elite indulged themselves on the finest foods and wines, those at the lower end of the scale had been seen push starting an ambulance in order to get a relative taken to hospital. The former Health Tsar, who fell with her beloved leader, denied such events ever happened or that she had failed to order new ambulances for the emergency fleet.

Many Gibraltarians thought their Supreme Leader was a saint or they had been brain washed to believe so. Even those who knew the truth pretended he was the Almighty One in case they lost their place on the housing waiting list.

Curiously the passing of the Supreme Leader came around the time that the North Korean dictator Kim Jong-il is said to have died whilst on a train in his starving yet nuclear powered nation. These two events are not believed to be related.

A SEASON TO BE GRATEFUL: may I thank the many readers of this website and Panorama who have contacted me directly or through the letters page of the newspaper to comment on my articles. As this is also the season of good will to all men (and women) I include in my thanks those who disagree with every word I say – God bless you for still taking the time to read what I have written – and even those who believe the finest form of attack is personal abuse whilst hiding behind their anonymity. As I raise my glass of good cheer over the Christmas meal I will toast you all and, God willing, we will return to debate the issues in 2012. Merry Christmas and the very happiest of New Years.